STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. — Be careful what you ask for! Take Michael Gaggi, 57, of Richmond, for example, who got the shock of his life in August.
Gaggi took a 23andMe DNA genetic test — one of the popular genetic testing kits available to the public — in order to learn more about his family heritage.
Not only did he find out he was 50% Italian and 40% Irish, but he also discovered he has an adult son, Steve Becker, 35, living in South Africa.
“My younger son Cristian’s college planner asked us if we knew our heritage because he was going to be filling out college applications in his senior year,” explained Gaggi, a loan officer with First Home Bank on Staten Island.
“I used that as my excuse, because in reality I wasn’t 100% sure of my background and I always wanted to do it,” he recalled.
Gaggi and his wife, Nalua, have five children: Michael, 23, Jason, 22, Cristian, 18, Isabella, 16, and Kalea, 13.
But Gaggi now talks often to his new-found son on the phone, despite the seven-hour time difference.
Becker lives in South Africa, and is admittedly riding an emotional roller coaster.
“Discovering you are part of someone else entirely is kind of an epic turn of events in one’s life. My new dad has shown me what a good man, good father, and good person he truly is,” Becker said, adding he is happy to be Gaggi’s son.
He said he is planning for the day he can visit Staten Island to give his new dad a hug.
“I’m looking forward to telling him I’m happy for a new family, happy for being a big brother, happy to be a grandson, and happy to have a father who can appreciate the man I’ve become,” Becker said.
Gaggi said he is also happy about the new relationship with his son, although the initial discovery was unexpected.
“When I learned of my son Steve, at first I was in complete and total shock,” recalled Gaggi, who was on the golf course at Richmond County Country Club when he read the news on the 23andMe website. “Steve is 35 years old, and I had no clue for 35 years.”
Numb from the surprise, Gaggi played two rounds of golf poorly and needed the rest of the night to let the news sink in.
“I told my wife the next morning that I had a bunch of European DNA, and that I had a son, and she replied, ‘Come again, what was that?’”
Gaggi decided not to share the news of another sibling with his other children until he told their grandmother, who is 86 years old and lives in Florida half the year.
“We kept the secret between us until I flew down and told my mother, who was absolutely thrilled,” he explained.
After Gaggi and his mom communicated with Becker via Facebook Messenger, the Staten Islander flew back to New York and told his other children, who were ecstatic. “Of course they had a million questions, but they were so excited to learn of their brother,” he recalled.
Becker said he had always assumed he was of Puerto Rican descent.
“My grandmother on whom I thought was on my father’s side, was born in Puerto Rico and came to the U.S. as a young girl,” he explained. “My 23andMe results showed nothing of the sort when I got them back — and I just kind of accepted it.”
He added: “I don’t have a relationship with that man I thought was my dad, with whom I haven’t spoken in 15 years. I just put it in the back of my mind — but I think I’ve always had some notion that something wasn’t right.”
Approximately six months passed after Becker’s initial results, when he was notified of new DNA matches.
Becker recalled: “I checked my ‘new match,’ and Gaggi’s profile indicated we shared almost a 48% DNA and our relationship match was father and son. I was blown away, I think I lost feeling in my whole body!”
But he was a bit skeptical at first.
“When Michael and myself started chatting, I was a bit skeptical, as I am when it comes to these sort of things, so wasn’t sure if it was some sort of a scam,” recalled Becker. “But honestly, what did I have to lose?”
When he first chatted with Gaggi, he was not forthcoming with any information — but asked specifically where the Staten Islander lived approximately 35 years ago.
When Gaggi explained that he lived in Brooklyn, and was able to describe Becker’s mother, the 35-year-old was convinced.
“He assured me he had no idea that I had been conceived, and wanted to know more,” said Becker. “We continued to exchange pleasantries and the like, until we shared our Facebook information and we both explored each other’s social media life. This is when I feel we really got to know each other. I think even when we got to see how similar we are to one another.”
Becker moved as a young adult to St. Petersburg, Fla., and lived with an uncle, an animal handler/lover. He eventually worked on a big cat rescue farm in Tampa, where he met his now-fiancee Vanessa, also an animal handler.
The couple accepted positions in South Africa at Panthera Africa, a big cat sanctuary, where Vanessa is the main care taker for the rescued cats and Becker builds structures there, with his carpentry background.
“Steve and I are thrilled over our discovery of each other,” said Gaggi. “We have not met each other yet but he may be coming back to the States for a visit in February, and if he does he will stay with us for a month.”
Gaggi said he plans to attend his new son’s wedding, regardless of where it is held.
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he said. “He is not sure if that will take place in South Africa or here in the United States, but we will all be attending.”